Rare Leadership by Marcus Warner Jim Wilder

Author:Marcus Warner, Jim Wilder
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2018-09-07T16:00:00+00:00

TRANSFORMATION TAKES TIME In this part of the book, we are exploring the four uncommon habits that characterize RARE leaders. Throughout these chapters, we will make reference to the importance of imitation exercises, the pursuit of intimacy with God, and participation in identity groups.

Building new habits isn’t easy. It takes time, and we have found that without all three of these key elements you aren’t going to get there. Leaders are often in a hurry for change, which is understandable, but some things can’t be rushed and shortcuts cause problems. I (Jim) learned this the hard way as a youngster. I once found a monarch butterfly in the process of emerging from its cocoon. Being the helpful sort of person I am, I decided to jump in and speed up the process for this poor, struggling insect. I got him out more quickly than he could have done on his own, but the results were disastrous. The poor bug’s wings were not straight and it couldn’t fly! While my intentions were good, taking shortcuts did not accomplish what needed to happen. It is the same with learning fast-track habits. You can’t simply choose to be mature. But there are choices you can make that will help build the habits that can transform your life, your marriage, your parenting, and your leadership competence.

Brain Science for RARE Leadership

The four “engines” of attachment

The attachment styles that characterize level one of the fast-track system are one of the most researched topics in psychology. The same four patterns appear across all cultures and races.

When the first two years of life are joyful we develop pattern one— secure attachment. These “joy bonds” provide a very stable and powerful way of relating to our world both inside and outside of our bodies.

The other three patterns are all fearful patterns of seeing the world and motivating ourselves. Pattern two is a fearful style that avoids others and stays independent. Pattern three is a clingy style that always wants “in.” Pattern four is disorganized and we never know what will upset them.

Because attachment patterns are the most persistent of all the measureable traits across the lifespan, people expect their group identity (their people) will be motivated like they are—1) working together joyfully, 2) taking care of themselves (fear of other is rarely admitted), 3) trying to stay “in” with everyone (fear of loss or rejection), or 4) avoiding whatever might go wrong next.

The advantage of the fear-based systems is that they accelerate quickly (but I have to get mad and yell to get anyone to move), while the disadvantage is that under any tension at all they lose mutual mind and forget entirely about acting like themselves.

The advantage of a joy-based group identity is that it “runs cool” most of the time and has amazing resilience, focus, direction, and self-restoring capacity. These patterns are the same for all groups, cultures, languages, and ages (over eighteen months of age). Styles of expression vary greatly but the “engines” are the same.

Leaders must find and strengthen the engine their group will use.

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